I'm Jess and I like turtles.

azulalaufeyson:

johnandpaul1:

"Tim keeps having me kill his wife in his movies… I don’t know what that means," -Johnny Depp

I love this post

vanehwasreal:

i aM FUCKING HOWLING WITH LAUGHTER

"at my school the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see ‘em and they got passed back the cop had 4"

Two stars of the movie Heathers died at an early age: Jeremy Applegate (Peter Dawson, whose character prays he will never commit suicide) committed suicide with a shotgun on March 23, 2000, and Kim Walker (Heather Chandler, who had the line “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?”) died of a brain tumor on March 6, 2001.

dogalyst:

Why do i get so flustered around cute boys? It’s like i forget that all men are beneath me

Julie: And the winner of America's Favorite Player is..
Julie: ....
Julie: ....
Julie: Me, congrats everybody.
damedanbo:

coolpup98:

this is silly because if you look closely you can see that the tiger is not an actual tiger but a Beanie Baby, a popular childs toy.

is that true?

damedanbo:

coolpup98:

this is silly because if you look closely you can see that the tiger is not an actual tiger but a Beanie Baby, a popular childs toy.

is that true?

laugh-until-you-drop:

kissing is hella rad but no one is kissing me so that makes me hella sad

fvming:

I’ll be Burger King and you be McDonalds, I’ll have it my way and you’ll be lovin’ it

retrogradeworks:

I love to see children who are so delicate and gentle with animals.  It warms my heart amidst a sea of brats pulling cats’ tails and getting whacked.

Also JESUS THAT’S A SNUGGLY CHICKEN.

lacigreen:

im laughing my ass off and my bae doesn’t get it

lacigreen:

im laughing my ass off and my bae doesn’t get it

beastboy:

chameleons have such cute hands

image

look they’re like little mittens

supjerbear:

i need to get something off my chest

*takes off my nipple*

beyoncescock:

seven billion people on this planet and i have 2 friends