I'm Jess and I like turtles.

kitsunecoffee:

thekumazone:

Owls may be symbols of wisdom, but they’re actually complete morons

I’M BIG DON’T TOUCH ME

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

malicious-melons:

“Every kiss begins with k” I whisper as I read the one letter reply from my crush

brxkenpetal:

this-one-moment:

He just accepts it right away.

this makes me so happy and idk why

brxkenpetal:

this-one-moment:

He just accepts it right away.

this makes me so happy and idk why

mostly10:

porrn:

Is it just me or you don’t really realise how drunk you are until you are in a bathroom alone???

image

flyfella:

Do people know how the US government works? Cuz a lot of you are like “Why isn’t Obama doing this thing that he’s completely not allowed to do?

colornbian:

How do you become someone who puts stickers on fruit because I think I could do that

blshiit:


DO U NEED A STEPMOM?!?

blshiit:

DO U NEED A STEPMOM?!?

baconsloth:

deoxyhemoglobin:

I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him

I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”

and he went dead silent

had the opportunity and fucking seized it

unclefather:

swagbat:

have u guys seen these photos?

now I have

twenty-one-antisocials:

This is my favourite photo on the internet

twenty-one-antisocials:

This is my favourite photo on the internet