Owls may be symbols of wisdom, but they’re actually complete morons
I’M BIG DON’T TOUCH ME
My anaconda will consider it
“Every kiss begins with k” I whisper as I read the one letter reply from my crush
Is it just me or you don’t really realise how drunk you are until you are in a bathroom alone???
Do people know how the US government works? Cuz a lot of you are like “Why isn’t Obama doing this thing that he’s completely not allowed to do?
How do you become someone who puts stickers on fruit because I think I could do that
DO U NEED A STEPMOM?!?
I was chatting with a donor before I drew his blood, and he was a dentist. when I actually drew him, there was just a little squirt of blood and it surprised him
I looked him in they eye and told him “you’re bleeding because you don’t floss”
and he went dead silent
had the opportunity and fucking seized it
This is my favourite photo on the internet